... and the mind is in a fix.
I can't stop thinking of her at all, it's damn nigh impossible. Even while around my friends, I just need a single quiet moment and I'll be thinking of her. And there are too many things around me that remind me of her.
I just cut my toenails and I'm remembering how she pampered me with a pedicure. And not just once, but TWICE. That memory linked to all the times that she kept reminding me to cut my toenails which then went back to the time when she was feeling down and I let her paint my toenails black.
And the tears just flowed.
This keeps happening too damn often.
I'm not a wreck.
I'm just very crushed.
It's too consuming. And it hurts more than breaking bones or being cut open. It's an amazingly horrible feeling.
I'm not sure if there's even a glimmer of hope of getting back together, but there just may be one in the distance, at the end of this long, dark, vertical tunnel that I find myself trying to climb out of. I will make it out eventually, I reckon.
I can't blame her for leaving. Perhaps, if I were in her shoes, I would do the same. She was just doing what's best for her. But even then....
... it doesn't change the fact that I'm heartbroken.
At the bottom of it, I love her too much and can't stop thinking of her at all.
Wonder how long before I end up in an asylum - or hell - in a straitjacket.
No comments:
Post a Comment