... from strange corners.
"Wipe the blood from our halos
and shred the wings of white
As the earth spits us out
Throw up our horns again.
Dust off our dark clothes
and walk out into the clear
For the skies to open wide
and electrify our souls again.
Shed our burnt, cracked skin
and eject these brittle bones
Whilst the oceans drown us
as our legs are chained again."
- Again This World
I'm listening to Slash, reading Twitter and freezing my ruddy arse off. The bloody weather can't seem to make up its bloody mind and it's not helping the drowsy and downright cold state that I'm in.
I can only blame Zach for being the one to actually start playing Slash off of Grooveshark - we're currently listening to "We're All Gonna Die (ft. Iggy Pop)" - and Miss Brighteyes for her ever so interesting tweet-feed. Those, and absolute boredom.
Yes, my mind works in strange ways.
Go figure.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
>>> Thinking...
... in blacks and greys.
In the space of four days, I've come up with two new tattoo designs to grace my dark skin in tones of black and grey in the manner of traditional tattooes. The one that you see here will be placed on the underside of my upper right arm so it will be covered most days by my long-sleeved shirts and hoodies. Unless I'm skating, that is.
But I digress. The reason behind this tattoo? To remind me to be patient and that everything takes time. And, essentially, that's what we have: Time. Yes, even if I, and I quote, "have the patience/tolerance of a Saint", even I need to remember and be reminded that patience is a virtue and that we sometimes have to wait for things. Even if the wait is frustrating beyond all ken.
It's also something that I say a lot of late. Especially to my homies, my fam and, basically, my loved ones. And, yes, to you, too. *chuckles* And to you, as well, you know who you are. *winks knowingly*
And in the past few blog entries, too. *laughs*
So, you must be wondering, why the typewriter font?
Typewriters were what I was first exposed to in the 80s. And I've loved them ever since. I used to type up very childish stories on them with my mom, so they hold a special place in my heart... plus they remind me continuously of old publishing that used the typeface. You know, novels and the like? Yup, I'm pretty much a bookworm. Blame my parents.
Also, I feel that typewriters are kind of timeless and I love looking at the font they used to use. Did you know that different series of typewriters had different typefaces? Or that you could change them out for another one or another coloured "ribbon"?
Not to mention that I love the sound of the clicking-clacking keys, the impact sounds of the key arms thumping against the ribbon on the fed paper, the ring when the carriage reaches the end of the "line" and zwing of the carriage being 'cocked' back into position to start on the next line. *dreamy sigh* I actually miss that, it's kind of amusing that I do.
I would love to own one or two again someday, really old vintage 'writers to put on display and use once in a while while working on the manifesto or manuscript of my life in my sunset-twilight years.
I'll post the other design up when I get a decent scan of it.
For now, let me know what you think.
If you want to, that is.
No pressure.
Really.
*stares*
In the space of four days, I've come up with two new tattoo designs to grace my dark skin in tones of black and grey in the manner of traditional tattooes. The one that you see here will be placed on the underside of my upper right arm so it will be covered most days by my long-sleeved shirts and hoodies. Unless I'm skating, that is. But I digress. The reason behind this tattoo? To remind me to be patient and that everything takes time. And, essentially, that's what we have: Time. Yes, even if I, and I quote, "have the patience/tolerance of a Saint", even I need to remember and be reminded that patience is a virtue and that we sometimes have to wait for things. Even if the wait is frustrating beyond all ken.
It's also something that I say a lot of late. Especially to my homies, my fam and, basically, my loved ones. And, yes, to you, too. *chuckles* And to you, as well, you know who you are. *winks knowingly*
And in the past few blog entries, too. *laughs*
So, you must be wondering, why the typewriter font?
Typewriters were what I was first exposed to in the 80s. And I've loved them ever since. I used to type up very childish stories on them with my mom, so they hold a special place in my heart... plus they remind me continuously of old publishing that used the typeface. You know, novels and the like? Yup, I'm pretty much a bookworm. Blame my parents.
Also, I feel that typewriters are kind of timeless and I love looking at the font they used to use. Did you know that different series of typewriters had different typefaces? Or that you could change them out for another one or another coloured "ribbon"?
Not to mention that I love the sound of the clicking-clacking keys, the impact sounds of the key arms thumping against the ribbon on the fed paper, the ring when the carriage reaches the end of the "line" and zwing of the carriage being 'cocked' back into position to start on the next line. *dreamy sigh* I actually miss that, it's kind of amusing that I do.
I would love to own one or two again someday, really old vintage 'writers to put on display and use once in a while while working on the manifesto or manuscript of my life in my sunset-twilight years.
I'll post the other design up when I get a decent scan of it.
For now, let me know what you think.
If you want to, that is.
No pressure.
Really.
*stares*
Monday, January 24, 2011
>>> Moving on...
... is the only option left.
What else can one do?
There's no chance of anything else happening, no other paths to take. Just the one ahead of me, shrouded in the dark of lengthened shadows. I'll walk it, I have no choice. The path is shrouded in darkness and hidden barbs, and to it is one chained.
Walk on, walk tall and give as good as you take.
Brighteyes will always be the only exception that I've ever made or had, in a number of ways. The exception, not the rule. She can choose to believe it or not, but it's the truth of the matter.
I have loved and been loved. The cycle goes on as I walk on into the dark. Someday, I'll walk out into the sunlight again.
One chapter ends, another begins and the quill keeps moving across the pages.
Yes, all one can do is move on as time passes.
And all we have is time.
What else can one do?
There's no chance of anything else happening, no other paths to take. Just the one ahead of me, shrouded in the dark of lengthened shadows. I'll walk it, I have no choice. The path is shrouded in darkness and hidden barbs, and to it is one chained.
Walk on, walk tall and give as good as you take.
Brighteyes will always be the only exception that I've ever made or had, in a number of ways. The exception, not the rule. She can choose to believe it or not, but it's the truth of the matter.
I have loved and been loved. The cycle goes on as I walk on into the dark. Someday, I'll walk out into the sunlight again.
One chapter ends, another begins and the quill keeps moving across the pages.
Yes, all one can do is move on as time passes.
And all we have is time.
>>> I am..
... who I am.
I make no apologies for that.
I dress the way I do coz I'm comfortable with it. I don't aim to look like anyone else other than myself. I refuse to follow any current style or trend, it's just not me.
I just do what feels right to me at the time.
So, yeah, I'm just me and dress like me in my own style.
I'm flawed, but who isn't it? I know that I'm not perfect, but who is? Perfection does not exist, it's just a concept and it's open to interpretation and perception. So, that being said, I'm just fine the way I am, perfect in my imperfection.
Life can always improve, so can one's self. So, I'll just aim to get better and try to move to make my life better at the same time.
And all we have is time.
I am who I am, you are who you are, make no apologies and take no flak for it.
Peace.
I make no apologies for that.
I dress the way I do coz I'm comfortable with it. I don't aim to look like anyone else other than myself. I refuse to follow any current style or trend, it's just not me.
I just do what feels right to me at the time.
So, yeah, I'm just me and dress like me in my own style.
I'm flawed, but who isn't it? I know that I'm not perfect, but who is? Perfection does not exist, it's just a concept and it's open to interpretation and perception. So, that being said, I'm just fine the way I am, perfect in my imperfection.
Life can always improve, so can one's self. So, I'll just aim to get better and try to move to make my life better at the same time.
And all we have is time.
I am who I am, you are who you are, make no apologies and take no flak for it.
Peace.
>>> Where the sun don't shine...
... you'll find me.
Yet again, another rather random composition for A Bombshell In Parliament, a band that may never see the light of day or the dark of night, but, in all probability, will continue to live on in the minds of two rather strange individuals. Poetic compositions for lyrical therapies of the mind's strange soul which is its subconscious.
"Derogatory silences
and phantasmal kisses.
Bloodless violences
and foolish minxes.
Absent presences
and whispered misses.
The perfect recipes
for breaking hearts."
- Heartbreak for Fools
Anyone know where I can learn to play the bass guitar? I have a Vantage bass and amp at home which I'm itching to play... and to be GOOD at.
I'm open to suggestions, people.
Anyways, carrying on with more weird productions of the mind - and in most cases, MY mind - let your eyes travel downwards as you read within the quietitude of your mind.
NEXT!
The following haiku was composed on the spur of the moment while at work on yet another solo shift. To be honest, I really don't mind being alone in the store, but this is getting ridiculuous. It's so boring that my brain feels like it's turning into radioactive sludge. But at least my mind is still creative enough to churn out the oddities that you bear witness to here... for now, at any rate.
This is dedicated to the women whom I've loved and still love, in some cases. For those who know me, they might be able to figure out who I'm talking about. Especially if you know how I think and what a mess of wires and bolts my mind is.
XII The Hanged Man
The creeping glow of sunrise
Ashes and a bell's knell on the wind
Hanging from a leafless tree.
Yeah, I suppose there's still some lingering misery and sadness residing in my heart. And that inspires the insanity that graces your screen.
What else do you expect?
I make no apologies.
I'm only human.
Yet again, another rather random composition for A Bombshell In Parliament, a band that may never see the light of day or the dark of night, but, in all probability, will continue to live on in the minds of two rather strange individuals. Poetic compositions for lyrical therapies of the mind's strange soul which is its subconscious.
"Derogatory silences
and phantasmal kisses.
Bloodless violences
and foolish minxes.
Absent presences
and whispered misses.
The perfect recipes
for breaking hearts."
- Heartbreak for Fools
Anyone know where I can learn to play the bass guitar? I have a Vantage bass and amp at home which I'm itching to play... and to be GOOD at.
I'm open to suggestions, people.
Anyways, carrying on with more weird productions of the mind - and in most cases, MY mind - let your eyes travel downwards as you read within the quietitude of your mind.
NEXT!
The following haiku was composed on the spur of the moment while at work on yet another solo shift. To be honest, I really don't mind being alone in the store, but this is getting ridiculuous. It's so boring that my brain feels like it's turning into radioactive sludge. But at least my mind is still creative enough to churn out the oddities that you bear witness to here... for now, at any rate.
This is dedicated to the women whom I've loved and still love, in some cases. For those who know me, they might be able to figure out who I'm talking about. Especially if you know how I think and what a mess of wires and bolts my mind is.
XII The Hanged Man
The creeping glow of sunrise
Ashes and a bell's knell on the wind
Hanging from a leafless tree.
Yeah, I suppose there's still some lingering misery and sadness residing in my heart. And that inspires the insanity that graces your screen.
What else do you expect?
I make no apologies.
I'm only human.
Saturday, January 22, 2011
>>> As we dream...
... so do we die. Alone.
It's true, isn't it?
The chances of having the same dream as another is astronomically low; and usually if a group or individuals have the same dream, it's because they're in exceptionally close proximity or they're on the same mental wavelength with the same subject in mind.
Other than that... well, it would take a miracle.
Plus, it would be rather creepy since sharing a dream, which in essence is a private affair, at the same time, feels rather violating and invasive to some degree.
Regardless of how "cool" the concept is.
So, having our dreams alone, in the sanctity of our own minds and subconscious, is similar to living out our lives. We go through it alone, as individuals, and at the end of the day, whether in a partnership, a unit or a collective, we still die.
On.
Our.
Own.
Alone.
Singly.
Individually.
We take no one else with us unless we die a death of blood, screams and violence.
So, that being said...
... live your life to the fullest possible and dream as big and vividly as you can!
It's true, isn't it?
The chances of having the same dream as another is astronomically low; and usually if a group or individuals have the same dream, it's because they're in exceptionally close proximity or they're on the same mental wavelength with the same subject in mind.
Other than that... well, it would take a miracle.
Plus, it would be rather creepy since sharing a dream, which in essence is a private affair, at the same time, feels rather violating and invasive to some degree.
Regardless of how "cool" the concept is.
So, having our dreams alone, in the sanctity of our own minds and subconscious, is similar to living out our lives. We go through it alone, as individuals, and at the end of the day, whether in a partnership, a unit or a collective, we still die.
On.
Our.
Own.
Alone.
Singly.
Individually.
We take no one else with us unless we die a death of blood, screams and violence.
So, that being said...
... live your life to the fullest possible and dream as big and vividly as you can!
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
>>> Running on empty...
... with barely any fumes in the tanks.
I'm feeling hollow and empty.
Possibly dead-eyed as well.
And I'm missing three hours of my life from yesterday. If anyone can fill me in on what I did and/or said, where I went and any other details from the time period of roughly 1600h till 1900h [on the 18th of Jan], please let me know, please.
The last thing I remember clearly is Brighteyes breaking up with me. That explains the hollow-and-empty thing, doesn't it?
It hurts, as it always does. And I'm left with this song in my head; and her favourite song breaks my heart everytime I hear it.
You kinda see it coming though, but even then it still manages to kick you in the gut. Your insides seem to shrivel up and fade away, so you feel like you're floating and everything is just so surreal.
God alone knows how she's feeling about it and dealing with it.
I really do hope that she's alright.
Honestly, I do! Why is that so hard to believe!?
Anyways, it's like Mike V said, and Wen quoted, I guess that I just gotta STAND STRONG. I just might get that phrase tattooed in Aurebesh. On my left arm, just below the Eye of Ra that I have on my wrist.
Yes, I'm still a g33k.
Albeit, a heart-broken one.
And it does seem that I always want to get a tatt after major upheavals in my life. Go figure, huh?
Oh, well...
... laters, peeps.
*slinks away into the shadows*
I'm feeling hollow and empty.
Possibly dead-eyed as well.
And I'm missing three hours of my life from yesterday. If anyone can fill me in on what I did and/or said, where I went and any other details from the time period of roughly 1600h till 1900h [on the 18th of Jan], please let me know, please.
The last thing I remember clearly is Brighteyes breaking up with me. That explains the hollow-and-empty thing, doesn't it?
It hurts, as it always does. And I'm left with this song in my head; and her favourite song breaks my heart everytime I hear it.
Anberlin - Inevitable
Something Corporate - Konstantine
You kinda see it coming though, but even then it still manages to kick you in the gut. Your insides seem to shrivel up and fade away, so you feel like you're floating and everything is just so surreal.
God alone knows how she's feeling about it and dealing with it.
I really do hope that she's alright.
Honestly, I do! Why is that so hard to believe!?
Anyways, it's like Mike V said, and Wen quoted, I guess that I just gotta STAND STRONG. I just might get that phrase tattooed in Aurebesh. On my left arm, just below the Eye of Ra that I have on my wrist.
Yes, I'm still a g33k.
Albeit, a heart-broken one.
And it does seem that I always want to get a tatt after major upheavals in my life. Go figure, huh?
Oh, well...
... laters, peeps.
*slinks away into the shadows*
>>> The unexpected...
... can be expected but does that make it accepted?
Just some ideas that have been spawned in the last few days for A Bombshell In Parliament, a band that only exists in the head of two rather eccentrically brilliant, light-bulb-fused minds: KAZE.first and Pervalidus. The ideas behind the band is instrumental tracks with choruses of sorts. Blame Scott Pilgrim, kinda got the idea from Crash and the Boys. *laughs*
"Car wrecks, train crashes and airplanes like shooting stars in the sky,
Make a wish for heartache, watch the world break and never cry to die."
- End of the World
"Put the gun to my head,
squeeze the trigger now i'm dead,
the world's splatter painted red,
with bullets straight through my head,
my head, my head, my head."
- Headless And Yours
"Not fated, not fated,
Your destiny is broke,
You're plain outta luck,
Close your eyes to hide the pain,
Curl up under the sheets,
And shed your tears."
- Tears for Fate
"Feeling so pathetic, feeling troubled
Can't stand here, so I'll just run on
Run away, away, away
Onwards, for ever and a day
Would hate you, but I can't
Could love you, but I won't
Could hate you, but I won't
Would love you, but I can't
I just can't, I just won't
Hate you, love you
The pressure crushes, the darkness rushes on
I close my eyes, and drop, falling away
Fall away, away, away
Downwards, for ever and a day."
- Away
Thanks, Brighteyes, for reintroducing me to music and reigniting my love for creating. I owe you something fierce.
Well, I hope all of you like this for whatever it's worth.
Just don't rip us off!
Just some ideas that have been spawned in the last few days for A Bombshell In Parliament, a band that only exists in the head of two rather eccentrically brilliant, light-bulb-fused minds: KAZE.first and Pervalidus. The ideas behind the band is instrumental tracks with choruses of sorts. Blame Scott Pilgrim, kinda got the idea from Crash and the Boys. *laughs*
"Car wrecks, train crashes and airplanes like shooting stars in the sky,
Make a wish for heartache, watch the world break and never cry to die."
- End of the World
"Put the gun to my head,
squeeze the trigger now i'm dead,
the world's splatter painted red,
with bullets straight through my head,
my head, my head, my head."
- Headless And Yours
"Not fated, not fated,
Your destiny is broke,
You're plain outta luck,
Close your eyes to hide the pain,
Curl up under the sheets,
And shed your tears."
- Tears for Fate
"Feeling so pathetic, feeling troubled
Can't stand here, so I'll just run on
Run away, away, away
Onwards, for ever and a day
Would hate you, but I can't
Could love you, but I won't
Could hate you, but I won't
Would love you, but I can't
I just can't, I just won't
Hate you, love you
The pressure crushes, the darkness rushes on
I close my eyes, and drop, falling away
Fall away, away, away
Downwards, for ever and a day."
- Away
Thanks, Brighteyes, for reintroducing me to music and reigniting my love for creating. I owe you something fierce.
Well, I hope all of you like this for whatever it's worth.
Just don't rip us off!
Saturday, January 15, 2011
>>> I am...
... Whiskey-Tango-Foxtrot.
I have been taught, once again by cruel fate, to not open my mouth about my time and service in the military. Who would believe the things that I've seen and done?
At any point in my life, for that matter?
So, whatever it is, I'll just keep "mum" about my military service as well as my high school life antics. I'll just keep the mundane bits so the rest of you won't get jealous and be in disbelief... and it'll stop all of you from saying "He's so full of shit" or the like behind my back.
Also, I do not see any reason why I should tell anyone exactly why I'm undergoing counselling unless I really want to. It's confidential, isn't it? Your counsellor isn't going to tell anyone else about it - unless s/he has to hand over your case to another counsellor - so why should I have to tell anyone else? Sorry, parentals, I don't have to tell either of you the reasons nor anything else regarding it.
Thanks.
Life and fate are cruel teachers, but live, learn and survive.
I have been taught, once again by cruel fate, to not open my mouth about my time and service in the military. Who would believe the things that I've seen and done?
At any point in my life, for that matter?
So, whatever it is, I'll just keep "mum" about my military service as well as my high school life antics. I'll just keep the mundane bits so the rest of you won't get jealous and be in disbelief... and it'll stop all of you from saying "He's so full of shit" or the like behind my back.
Also, I do not see any reason why I should tell anyone exactly why I'm undergoing counselling unless I really want to. It's confidential, isn't it? Your counsellor isn't going to tell anyone else about it - unless s/he has to hand over your case to another counsellor - so why should I have to tell anyone else? Sorry, parentals, I don't have to tell either of you the reasons nor anything else regarding it.
Thanks.
Life and fate are cruel teachers, but live, learn and survive.
Monday, January 10, 2011
>>> It's complicated...
... isn't it?
Please excuse the spanish subtitles, I couldn't find a video without it. GOMEN!
Please excuse the spanish subtitles, I couldn't find a video without it. GOMEN!
Saturday, January 01, 2011
>>> A new year...
... but it's just the same old, same old, just a different day and altogether different year.
I'm apathetic about the whole affair. Couldn't care less and not a single whit.
To hell with 2010, there's not much of it that I want to remember and I frankly would rather curl up under a boulder and forget the whole damn thing.
"It hurts to remember so I'd rather forget." - Anon
I can only hope, pray and wish that MMXI will be better. A thousand times better than MMX. PLEASE.
To everyone, I hope that all of you have a great time partying and enjoying yourself, exorcising the ghosts of the past year and welcoming in the new year with your revelry.
Happy New Year, ya filthy animals.
I'm apathetic about the whole affair. Couldn't care less and not a single whit.
To hell with 2010, there's not much of it that I want to remember and I frankly would rather curl up under a boulder and forget the whole damn thing.
"It hurts to remember so I'd rather forget." - Anon
I can only hope, pray and wish that MMXI will be better. A thousand times better than MMX. PLEASE.
To everyone, I hope that all of you have a great time partying and enjoying yourself, exorcising the ghosts of the past year and welcoming in the new year with your revelry.
Happy New Year, ya filthy animals.
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