>>> Past, present...

... and future tense.

I miss my past.

My present is passing by with rarely a gift.

It's all fifty-fifty with the future... It's a tense thing, kinda touch-and-go, but it'll take care of itself, won't it.

Past, present or future... it just takes faith and gumption. And a little chance.

I'll leave you with what's currently playing from my iTunes, only with VISUALS. *grins*

Merry Christmas in advance!

>>> Blocky mechas...

... and dripping mascara, oh my.

*laughs*

Silky Black Gold ThreeA Motion Ad contest submission from Silky Black Gold on Vimeo.

Interesting...

For more on ThreeA and their contest, check out their blog.

Peace out!

>>> Light shows...

... and skate crazes.

Tron Legacy Premiere - A Light Session from ENESS on Vimeo.

One word.

A-FUCKING-MAZING!

>>> Mom warned me...

... that there might be days like this.

Well, I feel like shooting myself in the cranium, to splatter the whatever's left of my non-existent brains across the walls of joy this Christmas season.

Why, you may ask?

Suffice to say that I've been given a last warning and it's quite the wake-up call. I blame no one except myself. Just have to tighten my belt, lace up tighter and buck the hell up.

I will survive whatever the world throws at me, not because I have a choice but due to there being not much else of a choice, for that's the only way I'm going to be able to live.

I would give pretty much anything to be back in school. CHRIST, I would kill to get into one. Or even give up my left nut! Dear God, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name, please help me out here. PLEASE!

Like throw a dog a bone here, seriously, enough with the curveballs!!

Anyways, I'm sitting in the nice red rug in my room after a really LONG day and I'm depressed. Like, positively lousy. Funny, how the older one gets, the more one regrets... or the lousier one feels when one realizes that one's not much different from the heaving, trudging grey masses.

There are very few good things in my life at the moment and I should be thankful. Next year, SHOELACE MAFIA will be registered as a company and the brand will be, hopefully, trademarked and registered as well. Then it's just the funds that will need tackling.

I am absolutely grateful for my friends, though there are days when I feel so alone, it's just not funny.

*sigh*

I think that I'm just worn out. And if I sit here any longer - with my brain stewing in the negative juices of my mood's production - I will probably feel a lot worse.

Laters.

Peace.

>>> Supporting local talent...

... and getting y'all hooked!

SIXX | Supersonic from The SIXX TV on Vimeo.

Awesome music, awesome group. Show some love! Follow them on Twitter, @wearesixx.

By the way, Space Invaders Are Smoking Grass...

PEACE.

>>> Trudging through the...

... endless wastes of Limbo. Or should that be Purgatory? Heh. 'Tever.

Today, someone asked me what is happiness. To be exact, what is my temporal happiness.

Now, how the hell do you answer something like that? It's quite a spot to be in, to be honest. My mind just went blank; I really couldn't think of anything as a reply.

But thinking about it on the way home, I've realized that I've been so busy trying to get my feet planted back on the ground that I've forgotten what I've been chasing all this while; what will make me HAPPY.

You know how we all have goals and objectives in life that we try to reach? Well, piece of advice, mate, don't ever lose sight of it. And figure out a way to achieve it; won't be easy, but nothing ever is.

Though right about now, I could really use a break. *looks skywards* You readin' me?

*sighs*

All I want in life, honestly, is to be able to create art, share it with others and, if I'm really lucky, teach & inspire as well. Well, not all, I suppose. I would like to be loved for who I am, without reservation nor hidden motives & agendas.

But apparently, that's too much to ask, isn't it. *scowls* Just too much, right?

FEH.

Money is just the means towards an end. Or ends, if the case calls for it. But, in trying to clear myself of certain shackles, I've forgotten everything in my neverending chase for cash and financial independence. *sad sigh*

I am TIRED. I am honestly fed up of having to deal with people and other things that, some-bloody-how, always involves me having to give up my bloody happiness/comfort/whatever to accommodate these others. How about someone give up their bit for me, huh? FOR FUCKING ONCE!?

Oh, but then again, I let people walk all over me. All the time. SO, therefore, it must be my own damn fault.

Probably.

After all, I'm my own worst enemy. Right?

RIGHT.

Ergo, my own fault for letting all the crap happen to me.

I've realised that I've turned this from a contemplative passage on happiness to a bitter rant. FUCK. I'm just too tired, too frustrated and too bitter.

I'M SORRY.

You lot have a nice December ahead. I wish I could hibernate and not wake up at all.

'Night.

_{EDIT: This is NOT directed at nor specifically targeting anyone in particular.}