>>> Mom warned me...

... that there might be days like this.

Well, I feel like shooting myself in the cranium, to splatter the whatever's left of my non-existent brains across the walls of joy this Christmas season.

Why, you may ask?

Suffice to say that I've been given a last warning and it's quite the wake-up call. I blame no one except myself. Just have to tighten my belt, lace up tighter and buck the hell up.

I will survive whatever the world throws at me, not because I have a choice but due to there being not much else of a choice, for that's the only way I'm going to be able to live.

I would give pretty much anything to be back in school. CHRIST, I would kill to get into one. Or even give up my left nut! Dear God, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name, please help me out here. PLEASE!

Like throw a dog a bone here, seriously, enough with the curveballs!!

Anyways, I'm sitting in the nice red rug in my room after a really LONG day and I'm depressed. Like, positively lousy. Funny, how the older one gets, the more one regrets... or the lousier one feels when one realizes that one's not much different from the heaving, trudging grey masses.

There are very few good things in my life at the moment and I should be thankful. Next year, SHOELACE MAFIA will be registered as a company and the brand will be, hopefully, trademarked and registered as well. Then it's just the funds that will need tackling.

I am absolutely grateful for my friends, though there are days when I feel so alone, it's just not funny.

*sigh*

I think that I'm just worn out. And if I sit here any longer - with my brain stewing in the negative juices of my mood's production - I will probably feel a lot worse.

Laters.

Peace.