>>> I want to...

... scream it out in the open!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!

GODDAMMIT!!!

I MISS YOU!!!

A LOT!!!

MORE THAN A LOT!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!

*clears throat*

And you know who you are.

Not knowing how you are, what you're doing, where you are or anything tears a small strip in the hide of my sanity. And not because I'm a psycho control freak or stalker, but because I'm worried and still care for you, and I just want to there for/with you, especially when you're down or upset.

Yes, a small little psycho bit of me that wants to be involved in everything 'coz I've almost always been left out of things by most people. Something I'm learning to deal with and not doing too badly at either.

All I know is that I still love you as much as I did, if not more so, a month ago and that is never going to change by my reckoning.

And I realize that something that I said to you a while ago was a terrible thing to say. It is NOT horrible that I still love you. It was horrible that you were breaking up with me and since I am still so much in love with you, the whole situation was horrible. I'm sorry for saying what I said, I didn't mean it that way.

I honestly feel that this whole break-up thing is crap. Devastating, but crap. But that's just me, isn't it?

FUCK.

I MISS YOU SO MUCH, and it's unbelievable. It's ridiculous how I have to hold myself back from even texting you 'coz I'm actually afraid of making you feel worse or angering you even more! It's really frustrating.

And if anyone tells me that I should just forget about you and move on, I will royally freaking YELL at them coz if it was so bloody easy, I would've done so by now because the way it hurts really really really SUCKS. *growls*

I don't know if you miss me, but even if you did, knowing you, you've managed to distract yourself by drowning yourself in school and work so that you end up not thinking about me. *sigh*

I would love to scream and scream and scream till my throat is raw and voice is hoarse but I have to keep it in since "sane" people don't do that kind of thing. Plus, I don't want to freak out my parents and brothers when they're at home nor do I want to disturb the neighbours.

19 more days to go till the end of Radio Silence and then we'll see what kind of [additional] insanity will occur. Pray for safe harbour and happy endings.

_{I wish my drumming skills were a helluva better than they are now, like they were back in the days of high school and poly. Looks like I need classes. Probably when I start working.}

So, to end this torturous entry of emo-ness and verbal spillage...

I MISS YOU!!!

YOUUUUU!!!