>>> Slumber...

... would've been a nice escape.

If it wasn't for the nightmares and equally weird dreams of my usual normal variety.

*Sigh*

Doesn't matter whether I'm sleeping more nowadays, it's just not restful. The Dreaming has me waking almost as equally exhausted as when I went to sleep.

And I'm still mildly insomniac, which means I have to be completely exhausted so I can just drop asleep. Which doesn't seem to help with the dreams. Not at all. I mean, I virtually black out from exhaustion, but my mind picks up [sometime] in the middle of it, catching a ride on the Dreaming Express.

And it's not pleasant at all, most times.

And I really don't care if She's reading this, I don't care if it gives her more "power", but I need to say this and bloody well will: I bloody well MISS Her. She was my best friend, my cheerleader, my lover, my partner and, quite a lot of the time, my protector.

I miss her being around and I miss the times we spent together. And in the case of my dreams, she waking up to calm me down. Or I waking up in a state, and then just looking at her sleeping peacefully slowed down my racing heart. Or calling in the morning and talking about it, the two of us discussing how weird the dream was and that it was just a dream.

*Sigh*

Sleeping would be a great escape IF I could sleep, without the dreams, without the negative feelings and it would help in cutting down the forays into the kitchen to eat.

On another note, I need more cigarettes... I keep running through my packs at an alarming rate. Which is not good at all.

So sleep would cut down the need for that, too.

I just wish sleep was easy to come by.

A good morning to you all.