>>> Cluster migraines...

... and busy days. Part Two.

It's been a rather busy, almost hectic, last three days. Unfortunately, I don't know whether I want the pace to continue. Don't get me wrong, having a lull and time to rest is all well and good, but I don't like the amount of time it gives me to think. And right about now, thinking is the last thing that I want to do since it seems that no matter what I think about, it always seems to head in one particular direction which is not bloody healthy for my peace of mind at the moment. And it's such a struggle to not let it consume me.

But anyways....

Tuesday was a really lousy day with the disappointment that the opportunity that I was offered was basically nothing more than the organisation being "nice" and giving themselves some publicity at our expense of time.

However, it was good to see Jothi again. Plus a heck of a shock to discover that she has not only a Degree in Education and experience as a teacher and a lecturer, but a Masters in Mathematical Philosophy, too! Like, wow!

And hanging with Ash before the interview gig at that organisation was pretty good, allowing us to both vent a helluva lot.

Having your ex ask how the interview went should've been a bittersweet deal - 'coz it shows that she still cares in some capacity - that didn't quite go down the way it should have, unfortunately.

And if you're reading this, I'm really sorry for blowing up at you over the phone, it wasn't right of me to do so. The anger that I threw at you didn't even have very much to do with you; it stemmed from so much loss in such a short period of time (relationship, recently a close friend in a far away place & soon my home), constantly being texted by someone who's trying to mess with my mind and having my time wasted by an organisation that has no real interest in hiring people. I'm really truly sorry.

Suffice to say, I don't think either of us got much sleep that night. This is such a bloody torturous situation, for both of us. But something doesn't sit right at all, overall. Not sure what yet, but since I have so much time to think, I'll figure it out. Eventually.

Wednesday was madness in the afternoon, though by the time I got home in the wee hours of the morning the next day, it was all so worth it. Or, at least, mostly worth it.

Dropped a cheque off for my Dad at Northpoint and was originally supposed to head down to Holland V but that was called off at the last minute. Instead, I went back home to rest and ended up falling asleep. Woke up a little later and rushed down to Vivocity to meet Ash, Cha and Nick [my godson!] for an early dinner. I had a blast, getting to play with my godson after not seeing him for two years (the last time that I saw him was the day he was born). I hope that I get to see him again soon. *grin* He's soooooooo damn cute! And SMART!!! *wider grin*

After that, while waiting for Myst, I dropped by Shears in Selegie to hang out with Wolfgang for a bit. Shot the breeze, ranted and vented. HE gave me an option to find some personal help. I may just take him up on that.

Met Myst at PS later on and hopped a bus down to Orchard Parade to surprise Jonesy at Carol's behest. We didn't get off the 36 at OP but at the Regent/Regis and walked down Cuscaden. Myst was starving but I ended up eating half her fries and the leftover third of her burger. Haha, no wonder I'm putting on weight, I keep finishing off everybody else's food. *laughs* Semi-surprised Jonesy at Ballymoon's due to him actually walking from the bathroom to the bar when we were about to enter the pub. Had a really good time, ragged Jonesy, received some good advice from Carol, met two rather interesting Eurasian girls and their mom plus one of the girl's boyfriends (who's a STE/K engineer O.O) and have found a soft spot for Coronas. *grin*

After the night was done, Myst's brother dropped me off at home. When I got home, I finally caught my first game of the entire World Cup: the semi-final of Spain versus Germany. The Crimson Tide beat the White Warmachine, it was amazing to watch, a pretty exciting game with way too many close calls and one very squandered, very wasted chance.

To the Germans and associated supporters, please don't kill the Octopus, it's not his fault!

Well, hopefully, I get to watch the very final between Holland and Spain. Or, as I call it, the Orange Flood takes on the Crimson Tide! I have no idea who to support on the day itself since I like both countries, for various reasons.

Anyways, too bad for li'l ol' me, I started having a migraine after the match and it was nearly impossible to sleep. Kept waking up every few minutes or at least once every hour. Finally couldn't take it and popped four painkiller tabs to get rid of it. But that was around eleven plus on Thursday morning, almost seven hours after trying to sleep.

Really felt like I wanted to die, honestly, like I just wanted to smash my cranium against the wall and watch the skull shattering into tiny little fragments that'd pepper the room in a wide circle like a grenade exploding, the blood splashing, splattering and spilling across the wall, dripping slowly down with little fleshy globs of grey matter mixed up in the morass and the body slumping slowly against the wall...

... okay, a little too graphic! =P

ANYWAYS, I met up with Meiya (Gin's boyfriend) who's offered me an apprenticeship as an airbrush tattoo artist, which sounds quite cool. And he taught me how to clean the airbrush as well as use one to do airbrush tattoos with a template/stencil. It was really cool, and he's really patient. And he likes my artwork!

After that, I headed down to Thomson Plaza coz Joseph has asked me to come back and work temporarily as a barista. I'm doing this as a favour to him and 'coz I need the little [extra] cash.

Ashvin and Pervalidus dropped by my crib. We just talked and stuff, discussed life and woes. Basically, just chilled the freak out.

After all this was done, I just wanted to pick up the phone and call... well, if you lot know me well enough, you'd know who I wanted to call. So, I don't have to say much.

Because, you know, all this feels so hollow without someone to share it with. To actually vocally verbalise it, to say it out loud and obtain a visible or audible reaction.

And not just to or from a friend or someone from the Family.

Someone special, close to the heart.

*sigh*

This.

Just.

Sucks.