At all.
Seriously.
And then to feel like something was trying to explode out of my chest wasn't funny in the least. Suffice to say that getting out of bed today was a supreme effort in of itself.
I need a stiff drink, these feelings of frustration and misery, I can't shake them. So, perhaps drowning them would be better. In vodka. Or b33r. How I wish that I was in Sydney now... Away from this place, with so many memories that sting and hurt yet I have to bear with a rictus grin.
*sighs deeply*
How is it even possible to still be in love with a woman who broke up with you ages upon ages ago? To still have her constantly on your mind? To feel like you're empty without her, to hate the thought of her being with someone else? Especially if it's someone whom you might know?
[Trust me, it's happened that way for most of my exes, they'll end up with someone I know 3 times out of five]
Postscript: For the ladies and others, just bend the genders to accomodate your leanings.
*shakes head violently*
I don't know whether it would be acceptable to tell her the thoughts in my head. AND even if it was, when and how would I tell her??
Frustrating.
And the one thing in this whole bundle of joyous messiness that makes sense is this:
"Sometimes, even though you're [still] in love with someone, you just have to settle for second best by being just friends."
Grieve and let live.
And try to not let it devour you from the inside out.
... keeping calm like a bomb.
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