The Thousand Thoughts Mile: >>> The strain of the present with the weight of the past.

Monday, March 31, 2008

>>> The strain of the present with the weight of the past.

Hit a low point over the weekend, present life seems to be pressing down rather hard on my shoulders. That, and the weight of my past hung off of it. Damn the shoulder injury since it can't take the strain as much as it used to and this burden weighs like a one-ton bitch. ^{Thank the Gods for Pervalidus, he pulled me partially out of my funk, that deep pit of darkness and despair that I keep sliding into every once in a while.} So, everything's on me now; I just have to find a way to deal with it all without cracking. And as Pervalidus says, and I quote, if I can't find a way, I'll make one. Somehow.

Yeah, yeah, I know, I don't sound too convincing, now do I?

Well, whatever. I have to do it. I gotta find an interim job, mebbe something that'll tide me over, keep me out of the house and out of my baby girl's way so that She doesn't feel smothered and suffocated. *shrug* And I have truly no idea why I'm behaving like this where She's concerned, I'm not usually a dependent-type boyfriend. So, yeah, a step back is definitely required, which is what I'm doing.

Oh, another coupla reasons to get a job: to tire myself out so I can finally sleep properly since I haven't been getting any real sleep for weeks now, and so that I can avoid babysitting my youngest god-brother. Not that he's a pain, he's a good kid, really. It's just that I think my pseudo-godmom has found a place to drop him so she can hang with her new beau. Yeap, that's my honest opinion.

And thank the Gods that she doesn't have my blog's address. Whew.

And it looks like I'm gonna get shelled by mom again. No surprise there, though. Mom's not too happy with the fact my godmom is taking advantage of our hospitality and offloading Atha on us for the past couple of weeks. And she's at her dodgy-est ever, too. Ridiculous, really. Her new boytoy is more important than her son? Get real.

AND my mom still has no idea that I have a girlfriend yet. Nor the fact that it's the girl Pervalidus is in love with. ^{He will NOT be forgiving me for the foreseeable future, even IF he's still talking to me.} Oh, the fireworks and absolute artillery barrage when my mom eventually finds out. And she will find out eventually, just you wait and see.

Thank the Gods that my own mother doesn't have my blog address, too! Haha!!

So, I'm off for now, I have a mission today: to apply for work as a Barista at the Starbucks outlet in Thomson Plaza. After that, I have to decide whether I want to hit ViD, where She's working today. I love Schakatze, I really do.

Therefore, I do not want to lose her through any fault of mine.

Laterz, wheezerz.