>>> Why do some women...

… look so badass with a nose-ring?

Some of them just do. Really. I reckon that it might have something to do with the way that they carry themselves and/or with the looks on their faces. But I really don't know, honestly.

And I'm only mentioning this because I saw this youngish lady on the train a while ago, and she looked really badass, nearly downright deadly, with a nose-ring. *shrug* Just one of those things I notice at odd times, I guess.

And while thinking about that, it got me thinking about an unrelated track.

If good girls like bad boys, is it safe to say that good boys like bad girls, in a near direct vice versa way?

And if such a hypothesis is true, what constitutes a 'bad girl'? Is it the presence of tattooes? Piercings? Dress sense? Bad attitude? Actions?

An interesting concept or idea to explore and discuss, but at a later point, I reckon. Unless you lot want to open it up right now, I really don't mind. *smiles*

Anyways, today has been rather dull apart from meeting Ashwin, a junior of mine from school who's the same age as me, for lunch. It was pretty good, really. He had a really good listening ear and gave me some advice that I'll definitely keep in mind for later. He complimented me on my ability to talk/speak, even if he was kind of trying to recruit me as a financial consultant (read; insurance agent).

But he respects my determination to enter the community and social services sector. The salary may not be exactly fantastic, but it should be enough and, let's face it, the system needs people to help [re]build it. And building it is going to be a challenge, seriously. But who doesn't like a challenge, eh?

Plus, there's the whole issue of the backward thinking and ignorance of the population as well as the sheer numbers of people who need help. Someone's gotta do it. I'm in this to help people.

And let's not forget that there's the whole thing about pursuing a degree [program] in Counselling. I'm planning on using my upcoming career as a springboard to getting into it, as well as time to research into which university would be best for it. I aim to be enrolled in the Art Therapy masters program by the time I'm 37, 38 at the latest.

However, I'll keep my options open. You never know, I might have to fall back on something else someday later.

Well, I'll have to get started again on finishing the last 75% of my assignment after I e-mail my lecturer about a stalled assignment and the student administrator about replacement classes as well as the attachment.

Speaking of which, I'm heading down to the Singapore Children Society (SCS) Youth Center tomorrow to enquire about the possibilities of an attachment/internship with them.

Cross your fingers and pray for me.

I'm gonna nail it somehow.

Laters, Gaters!

>>> Well, now that's...

... interesting and rather stupid.

I'm once again sitting in Takezo's place and semi-chilling out. Yeah, his crib is becoming a sanctuary of sorts.

I'm feeling somewhat better than I was this morning.

How?

I'm putting down whatever I read to the early stages of the situation I find myself in. And if I take what I saw at face value, then whatever I'm hoping and praying for is over which would in turn mean that I'm over and done.

So, taking it in stride and riding the wave.

I'll go where it takes me and hope for the best.

Oh, and class was pretty much cancelled due to the absence of a teacher. At least I have the notes and the assignment already. So, I'll see what the school says later.

Well, it's back to the grind of completing school assignments.

Laters.

>>> Sometimes, you'll wish...

... that you hadn't seen some things.

Well, my morning has been fucked by simply looking at something.

It's crushing.

And feels like deja vu.

FUCK.

Sometimes, it feels like no matter what you do, you lose in the end.

FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK.

I hate this.

And now I have to rush to school when I don't feel like it at all now.

Maybe, I'll leave halfway.

Or something.

We'll see.

>>> On the Fourth Day...

… the Frost.

And the title has nothing to do whatsoever with anything at all.

Really.

It was just something that I read somewhere, once many years ago. I think it was when I was in Aussie... and it has something to do with Shakespeare. I'll have to look it up sometime.

It got your attention, though, didn't it?

ANYWAYS...

I'm currently sitting in Takezo's car while we're heading back to his place to finish up assignments.

It's been a very eventful, and quite painful-slash-traumatizing [to be honest], past two weeks. Still somewhat reeling, still recovering and still a little angry. However, I'm taking everything in my stride.

I'll survive and be alright.

After all, it's my choice, ain't it?

So, I choose the path I wish to walk, regardless of the thorns along the way. The only way out is death, and that's never been an option. I know where I want to go and I'm walking along the way I want to go.

So, here we go, onwards and upwards, scaling and clearing the obstacle-like titanic mountains in our way.

With a fecking nuclear-powered mega-bazooka of epic proportions to blast it out of the way. HA!

It's been a tiring past week, but good, in ways. Even with the late nights, staying up with friends till almost five in the morning. At least, I'm getting sleep since no one wakes me till about 12ish, possibly past one in the afternoon.

Wednesday brought a glimmer of hope that something will work out for the best, though it was one of the hardest things that I'd ever had to do. I just pray that time really will help and heal all things.

Thursday brought some joy since Purple was thinking of me, having thought of something that may help me out of a certain situation. If only what she suggested was allowed. Oh, well. But it's the thought that counts, in more ways than one. Stayed out late with Takezo at his crib, trying to finish my schoolwork, but kept stalling and ended up providing some quick help to Takezo on some portions of his school work.

Friday was pretty much more of the same, waking up late, surfing Facebook and chatting with friends over the phone. Ate pretty well, too. Angel and Dubis have been amazing friends, as they've always been, being HUGE pillars of support. Just like Takezo and Katstep. Funny how some of my support happens to come from married couples who are seriously committed to each other. Oh, well, carrying on...

Saturday was the BOMB. Slacked at home when I wasn't doing household chores, which was pretty good. Still thinking of how to install games on my laptop, though, I'd love to play FPSes and stuff on it. Heh. But I digress.

Since Mr Potato's heading off to Melbourne on a permanent basis next Sunday, Dubis and Angel held a farewell party at their crib for him. It was a small affair, being just Angel, Dubis, Potato, Whitewolf and myself. It was awesome, Angel having cooked so much food that we basically polished off in a small percentage of the time that she took to cook them! Bloody delicious, honestly. We proceeded to have a couple of drinks, of the alcoholic persuasion. Hee!! Awesome stuff while watching Kick-Ass, which was bloody dumb at some points, with a somewhat cliché ending. Still good stuff, since the geek gets the popular girl in the end. I am a geek, after all.

Takezo and Katstep picked me up later on, and I hung out with them for quite a while. Learnt some distressing news, too, which has me declaring undying enmity to Katstep's horrible family. Do not ask me what they've done, it's a long, terrible list. -___-

Ended up listening to Takezo vent, which is a good thing since it's better than holding it all in. And got to play a bit on the PS3, too, which was awesome.

Oh, and I learned that it's never a good thing to let your thoughts wander while shaving. Why, you may ask?

Well... I sliced a small bit of skin off of my chin-slash-jawline. OWCH.

Which brings us to today.

I'm no longer in Takezo's car, having left his place a while ago. Now, I'm stuck being up to finish up my assignments which are due in tomorrow.

Today has been rather strange, but I've got through it and I finally ate at Botak Jones today. Their Massive burger is AMAZING. Like freaking A-MAZING!!!

Seriously.

Many thanks to Takezo and Katstep once again for dinner!

Unfortunately, a part of my spectacles snapped off this morning when I was wiping it... ah, well, looks like Purple gets one of her wishes since she's wanted me to get a new one for a while now, haha! Have to do it tomorrow, and just hope that I can make it to the shop in time after class!

Anyway, time is ticking. It may go slowly when you don't want it to, but it doesn't wait for anyone, so I gotta hammer away at my schoolwork before I run out of time and energy.

Laters, Gaters.

>>> Self-hate...

... is dangerous.

So is self-loathing.

Which amounts to roughly the same thing, doesn't it?

And I pretty much hate myself right now since I can't seem to do anything right. Or, at this present moment, it feels that way.

And the stress over school, my school assignments-cum-assessments, the search for a part-time job, the upcoming sale of my home [of the last 14 years], my need to find a place to live and my girlfriend is eating away at me and causing mad insecurity.

At least, I'm aware of it. I just wish that I knew how to deal with it. Not that I'm not trying. It just sucks how lost and confused I am at the moment and how much of a jackass that I feel I am.

Will things ever get better???

F***.

I dunno.

Sigh.

Laters, Gaters.