>>> Credit Control...

Everyone just loves money. But more importantly, everyone NEEDS money. But it doesn't just become a single person's daily affection and obsession; it becomes a family's, a company's, a corporate's, a country's, even the world's 9th wonder. However in my own personal humble opinion, words of a wonderful money needing monger, a corporate is dangerous with money. And it so happens that this same corporate is the same one everyone turns to everyday when it comes to cashing in that cheque you got from sucking off a guy's rancid PEN-cil colored shoes, when it comes to applying for that all new lovely shiny Visa or Mastercard that you plan on buying expensive DIL-bert comics that are not available in your country, and of course, to go to for wonderful free services that make going to find a PRO sound like an awesomely horrible way to spend cash yet get "expert" help on getting that fish stuck in your sink that is going into the same sandwich to the PROs for their wonderfully abstract job of mangling your kitchen sink.

For those who guessed right, no points unfortunately, it's the bank. And with it come the greediest people in the whole world short of Oprah Winfrey and Donald Trump(And a certain party last I checked). But these people do not get all the the shit of the day thrown at them, nor do Oprah and Donald lest they decided to do a stand-up comedy show with Colin and Ryan and have a hoedown about being rich and having something to do with all that money. That's right, I'm talking about the service personnel. Today however, i will be focusing on a group of wonderful people who keep the banks going, who however have their names blemished so badly under the mud, even mud is cleaner than their name. And these people are the Credit Control team.

Imagine yourself to be that person who was cashing in that cheque. What if that cheque was going to the bank for all the amounts of interest you had owed the bank? Oh you'd be so mad that you'd want to strangle a turkey and make it cough out foie gras? and if that guy's rancid PEN-cil colored shoes happen to also be PEN-cil flavored too? Now that would suck. You gripe and grimace at the ones on the phone telling you that payment needs to be made while they have to listen to your sob story about how much you had to suck on someone's PEN-cil colored AND flavored shoes in order to get the monies to make that payment.

Then imagine yourself to be that person applying for the wonderful visa card and purchasing that DIL-bert comic when you didn't realize it was more expensive with air, sea and land shipping, and when you pay for the amount of the comic, you suddenly EXPLODE with RAGE and ANGER when you find out the cost was much more than what you bargained for, and you RANT and WAIL at the ones on the phone informing you kindly that you have to make payment for what you bought while they listen to your crude control of the most colorful and probably most explicit english language that ever was spoken or shouted to their right virgin ear(or left).

Finally imagine yourself to be that person going for the wonderful free services thinking what a wonderful day it is to finally make a trip down to the red li-OH MY GOD THE SERVICES CAME WITH ANNUAL FEES??? AT 15% INTEREST TOO??? You get a call from that lovely lady you used to know as a friend and tear their ears off with the amount of noncenstry that "they" had done onto you when all they were doing were simply to give you a friendl-erm...Not so friendly reminder after you just took their ear off with nary a breath and a chorus of howls that can only be made by a single mammal alone. By now if you had the patience to follow the writing i have written, you'd have noticed that someone seems to have been missing from the equation of the hate and blame game.

Agreed, oh wonderful follower of the ATM card, that once someone breaches your sense of moral dignity and pride beyond all comprehension, that you stop using that ATM card no more. But do recall where your pented up anger, frustration, hatred, and unknown dictionary of cuss words went to at the moment of your much needed release. Nope, it was not up the bank's ass, it was up THAT credit control officer's ass that it went into. That's what she said, but please remember this the next time you decide to go ruin the credit control officer's day. Also note worthy is how one as a consumer often lacks the roll of 20 for spot when it comes to disclaimers that make the roll difficulty a grand difficulty scale of 50 to read, and a +10 to all of the above: everyday life x hrs spent awake.

They are just as much human as you are, and you are just about as human as YOU make THEM out to be, in their minds. It's a mutual hatred, generated by the obsessive compulsive need for the green, purple, red, yellow and blue notes that everyone has in their wallets. So everytime you look at that piece of paper, think about the people don't see it until once a month, but need to reclaim it everyday as their job not just for the sake of themselves, but for a corporate that also welcomes you, the consumer.

So before you as a consumer decides to thresh things out unreasonably or erratically depending on the spontaneous combustion your brain can take from all the day's wonderful lessons, pause for a moment to realize that on the line, is another person just like you, quite possibly spontaneously brain-combusted from another 28 of you before you. As a side note as well, please don't be a Credit Control officer. Very unhealthy for you, and for everyone else around you for at least 60 yards.

~NOTE:

disclaimer: Anyformofmaliceangerhatredwondersadnessorwhateverformofemotionthatthisarticlemakesisofnointentionwhatsoeveranditispurelyforthesakeofentertainmentmediafunlaughterpeaceandjoysoallyoupeoplewhoowncreditvisamasteroratmcardspleasedonotblameyourbankbecauseimjustasillyguywhohasnothingbettertodoatpresentstagetimewhateversojustreadlaughnodnoticeandwalkonstraightcauseyoudidntseeanythingnopenothingatallitsallanillusionitellyounothingbutanillusion!!

... is not your bitch.