>>>Ridiculous...

But it's close enough.

So, the whole weekend has been rather on the downside.

Why?

First off, I've been given notice that I have a month to find another job. The reasons behind it really baffle me, but it's kind of a small blessing since I've been getting rather frustrated working here. It's not a bad place to work, but some things are seriously out of whack.

Second off the bat, the lady who I've been enjoying conversing with, and whose company is quite amazing, has completely ceased contact with me. Which sucks to the utmost maximum possible and beyond since there was not even an indication of it coming. And no reason, so I have no idea what I did wrong. It hurts and I have no idea why.

And to rub salt into it all (don't ask me why it feels like that, I can't figure it out so it just does), i find the aforementioned lady and my ex in the same set of photographs due to the fact they share a mutual friend (the same mutual friend who introduced me to her in the first place) who had her birthday celebration over the weekend which they both attended. Eff-Em-Ell.

*sighs deeply*

Lastly, and this is the strike-out, I'm tired beyond all belief. I have no idea why. *flat look* I blame a recent Friday night, a wedding on Saturday and sheer insanity over the weekend. Feh.

I'm grateful for my homies, I truly am. If not for you lot, I would've lost my mind ages upon ages ago.

So, to my peeps like Pervalidus, Naffa, Marshmello, Flalicious, Ting-Ting, Kimmy-Kat, Babe Ruth, Babe Lin, Fiq-V, Core, Libre, Mister X and all the rest who aren't listed here for you know who you are.

Misery is a travesty that keeps on being visited upon me.

This blows.

Majorly.

Fuck.

... is not exactly the word that I'd use.

>>> Doesn't matter...

... if you don't say it outright.

I can hear it in your tone and the things you say. The way you compare me to everyone else around us. In the way you treat all others differently.

I'm not in the same situation as everyone else. In fact, I'm NOT everyone else, I'm ME. I'm DIFFERENT. But, no, you still treat the whole thing as if I had the most normal lifestyle and upbringing in the world, like I had the same path as everyone else.

Ha!

Like REAL.

I'm so disconnected from people that I don't belong to ANY group, I just flit from group to group like I don't tangibly exist, even IF I do happen to like entertaining people. SO, I have to be alone at the end of the day with no one to turn to. But, guess what? I don't like being alone. In fact, I hate it. But would you understand? Oh, no, you wouldn't!

That would be such weakness to you, wouldn't it. Like how I'm weak all over, a failure and a disappointment, with my multitude of flaws, phobias, allergies and whatnot.

Unlike the other two, who are such bright stars in your eyes, perfect in every way.

Joy, joy, bully for them.

It doesn't matter what I do or say or anything, I'll never amount to anything in your eyes.

You don't even think that I'll get a place in any of the Unis that I'm applying for, do you? You probably even think that it's a waste of time helping me with anything 'coz I don't do anything for you. That everything that I do is a right that you possess and expect from me. So, I have no rights; I'm not a being who's entitled to his feelings, negative or otherwise. And who is to [or can] be blamed for everything that doesn't go right.

I'm always wrong, you're always right.

After all, I'm such a failure.

Aren't I?