>>> Strangely disturbing...

... yet enthralling and somewhat mellow.

>>> A dark future...

ROSA from Jesús Orellana on Vimeo.

ROSA is an epic sci-fi short film that takes place in a post-apocalyptic world where all natural life has disappeared. From the destruction awakes Rosa, a cyborg deployed from the Kernel project, mankind’s last attempt to restore the earth’s ecosystem. Rosa will soon learn that she is not the only entity that has awakened and must fight for her survival.

... filled with roses??

>>>Ridiculous...

But it's close enough.

So, the whole weekend has been rather on the downside.

Why?

First off, I've been given notice that I have a month to find another job. The reasons behind it really baffle me, but it's kind of a small blessing since I've been getting rather frustrated working here. It's not a bad place to work, but some things are seriously out of whack.

Second off the bat, the lady who I've been enjoying conversing with, and whose company is quite amazing, has completely ceased contact with me. Which sucks to the utmost maximum possible and beyond since there was not even an indication of it coming. And no reason, so I have no idea what I did wrong. It hurts and I have no idea why.

And to rub salt into it all (don't ask me why it feels like that, I can't figure it out so it just does), i find the aforementioned lady and my ex in the same set of photographs due to the fact they share a mutual friend (the same mutual friend who introduced me to her in the first place) who had her birthday celebration over the weekend which they both attended. Eff-Em-Ell.

*sighs deeply*

Lastly, and this is the strike-out, I'm tired beyond all belief. I have no idea why. *flat look* I blame a recent Friday night, a wedding on Saturday and sheer insanity over the weekend. Feh.

I'm grateful for my homies, I truly am. If not for you lot, I would've lost my mind ages upon ages ago.

So, to my peeps like Pervalidus, Naffa, Marshmello, Flalicious, Ting-Ting, Kimmy-Kat, Babe Ruth, Babe Lin, Fiq-V, Core, Libre, Mister X and all the rest who aren't listed here for you know who you are.

Misery is a travesty that keeps on being visited upon me.

This blows.

Majorly.

Fuck.

... is not exactly the word that I'd use.

>>> Like an imminent explosion...

Waking up to the feeling of wanting to be curled up in a foetal position and dying under a rock is not fun.

At all.

Seriously.

And then to feel like something was trying to explode out of my chest wasn't funny in the least. Suffice to say that getting out of bed today was a supreme effort in of itself.

I need a stiff drink, these feelings of frustration and misery, I can't shake them. So, perhaps drowning them would be better. In vodka. Or b33r. How I wish that I was in Sydney now... Away from this place, with so many memories that sting and hurt yet I have to bear with a rictus grin.

*sighs deeply*

How is it even possible to still be in love with a woman who broke up with you ages upon ages ago? To still have her constantly on your mind? To feel like you're empty without her, to hate the thought of her being with someone else? Especially if it's someone whom you might know?
[Trust me, it's happened that way for most of my exes, they'll end up with someone I know 3 times out of five]
^{Postscript: For the ladies and others, just bend the genders to accomodate your leanings.}
*shakes head violently*

I don't know whether it would be acceptable to tell her the thoughts in my head. AND even if it was, when and how would I tell her??

Frustrating.

And the one thing in this whole bundle of joyous messiness that makes sense is this:

"Sometimes, even though you're [still] in love with someone, you just have to settle for second best by being just friends."

Grieve and let live.

And try to not let it devour you from the inside out.

... keeping calm like a bomb.

>>> 30 seconds...

... to rock you like a hurricane.

>>> Stepped out...

... onto a field of darkness descendant.

While at work, towards the end of the shift, my mind started wandering and stepped out onto a field of darkness descending from across the horizons of my mind's eye. Something within my consciousness snapped and shuddered, like reeds in a gale.

Needing to let it out, my hands first scrawled in a rushed scribble across crinkled paper before committing the words to the screens of the wide panoramas of the internet. My fingers danced across the keys, black print almost floating off of my screen, swimming before my eyes as the words became lines, turned to phrases, transformed into a passage.

And the finished piece rests here, its tendrils of darkness seeping into the subconscious of your computer's hardwired memory...

... or perhaps it's just a figment of an active imagination. We can but hope, ey, my friends?

An inner fire grows dim,
Vessels hollow and cold.
And yet, and yet,
A sliver so slim
Familiar twitch of old
Innards writhe and sweat
Till the world explodes
In a mind's eye overload.
Do tell, fair maiden,
Where, how and when
This will go and end?

FIN.

>>> A curtain of dark mood descends...

... and a poet most dark takes to the stage.

Darkness spreads across the heart
Like poison it splinters to shards
Piercing through and through
The soul bathes in moods most dark
Rage and sorrow intermingles, entwined
Sowing the fields with salt and bones
Visions of Death cross the eyes
There is no peace for the body of self
Misery abhors not the company
Thus is the vast cloak of shadows
Cast over the world that surrounds
My misery made yours and yours mine
The dance of desolate sadness
Sweeps all but darkness before it

Kuro : Curtain of Dark Moods