>>> Everybody get up...

"How do you like that, sports fans!? It's a tie going into halftime here at Sakuragawa High's Zone Amphitheater. And, man, has it been a brutal match so far! I dare say that the number of fouls today has been unprecedented in Kami High School Divisional League! Especially the ones that have gone right under the ref's noses, Ken!"

"Indeed, Mark! But it's so hard to prove those to be fouls and not as the accidents that they seem to be. Tsuyosa has a reputation for powerful, forceful plays. But, recently, stories have been spreading about a new style which is both dangerous and crooked."

"Right you are. But there's no way to substantiate those claims. Though, a review of past games might be in order... Now, let's look at these numbers! Tsuyosa's monster of a Power Forward and their number 2nd Year ace, Setsuden Kenta-sama. True to his heritage, he is the very essence of strength, working on a double-double in field goals and rebounds. He is 10 for 15 from the paint and has 9 rebounds so far. Sakuragawa's own starlet, Par-...."

"Mark, there seems to be a commotion at the referees' table! A player from Sakuragawa just walked over and declared something that has EVERYONE agitated! Managers, coaches and players from both sides are mobbing the table! Oh, wait, looks like Setsuden-sama is getting in the Sakuragawa player's face!! What is going on!?"

"Oh. My. Gods! Could it be? Oh, yes, Ken! YES! Looks like there's going to be a halftime JAAAAAAAAAMMM!!!"

"For the first time in three years, Mark, in Sakuragawa High, there's going to be a JAM at Halftime! AMAZING!!!"

"For those watching from home, a Jam is a one-on-one match using the full court. It's like a duel, only with Basketball! And, like a duel, Ken, there's always something at stake, varying anywhere from favours to consorts!"

"Especially with the players being the Scions of the Divine! But who's the challenger!? Wait, wait, wait! The announcement's on the video screens! Looks like it's... Sakuragawa's number 13, Akihito Konamo'i?? Against Tsuyosa's ace, Setsuden-sama!!? Who in the Nine Hells is this kid!? Mark, do you have anything on Sakuragawa's number 13!??"

"Well, Ken, for starters, we don't have much to go on, paper-wise. He's a transfer student from the States, starting his first year of high school here. Plays as a Center Forward, but his stats are non-existent!"

"He's a FRESHMAN!? He MUST be INSANE to challenge one of the best, if not the best, Power Forwards in the Kami Junior Leagues!"

"Hold on, Ken, something's not right here. That kid looks intense. Can you see that aura!? More info is required! We need the ORACLE!"

"Right then, Mark, I've got you covered. The mob and furor around the refs' table has dissipated, but can you feel that tension in the air? The stakes are on screen now: a female player from each side has been laid down on the outcome of the Jam! Whoever wins the Jam has the wagered player transfered to the winner's school!? On a best two-of-three Jam!? Incredible! Unbelievable!"

"The first player to score two baskets out of three attempts in a 1 minute and 30 seconds or under of playtime WINS. If Sakuragawa's number 13 wins, Tsuyosa will lose their talented - and rather pretty, she has a fan club dedicated to her in Tsuyosa - Point Guard Tetsubara Rin-chan. If he loses, he will leave Japan and Tsuyosa will receive Sakuragawa's star player, Parvathi Araviswanadha!! AMAZING!!!"

"Seems like some harsh words being exchanged between Setsuden-sama and Tetsubara-chan. The Sakuragawa bench is strangely quiet... Akihito is waiting, seemingly unconcerned, at the refs' table."

"And the two players have moved to center court... TIP-OFF! Akihito grabs the ball ahead of Setsuden-san. My gods, what a leap! And such height! But, wait! The whistle's been blown! What, Akihito touched the ball before it hit its highest point!? UN-BEE-LEE-VAH-BEL!!! Let's see that in a quick replay!"

"Ladies and gents, Akihito's height and wingspan may become a pain for other teams in future! It's CRAZY!"

"Returning to the Jam at hand, Setsuden-sama has possession and moves in at a quick jog after a quick bounce check from center court. Akihito is crouched between the three-point and free throw lines, arms out. Wait, he's straightened up! His posture's become very relaxed. His head is even crooked to the left! What is he DOING!? Setsuden-sama dribbles, here comes the cross-over and then, suddenly, dashes in, cutting past on Akihito's left! What the... But, Akihito is suddenly right in Setsuden-sama's face! How did he move so fast!? Setsuden-sama has been stopped in his tracks, almost right back at the free throw line! The snarl on his face is fierce! What is he goi-..."

"WOAH! WOAH! A STEAL, A STEAL! AKIHITO HAS STRIPPED SETSUDEN-SAMA OF THE BALL! HE'S GOING COAST TO COAST!! SETSUDEN-SAMA'S CHASING!!! THE CROWD'S ON ITS FEET AND ROARING LOUD!!! SETSUDEN-SAMA HAS ALMOST COMPLETELY CAUGHT UP!!! BUT!!! AKIHITO SUDDENLY LEAPS FROM JUST PAST THE THREE POINT LINE!!!! A LANE-UP FROM THERE, IS HE COMPLETELY INSANE!?!!!!"

"OH! MY!! GODS!!!"

"SLAAAAAAAAAMMMDUNNNNKKK!!! 18 FEET LONG AND 13 FEET HIGH AIRWALK A LA MICHAEL JORDAN!!! UN-FREAKING-BELIEVABLE!!! AND THE CROWD GOES WILD!!!"

"Look at this kid! So composed, so focussed! Just a small fist pump after his dunk! And Akihito calmly backpedals towards the free throw line. And there's the bounce check! Setsuden-sama is powering down woodwork. He's really pulling out the stops, he's so fast that he's almost a blur!!"

"But Akihito is keeping pace! Seriously, Mark, who is this kid!?"

"Still checking, Ken!"

"O-kay, Mark, and... WHAT A MONSTER OF A BLOCK!!! Took my eyes away for only a few seconds and the Jammers already made it to the hoop! But! An impossible block on Setsuden-sama's double clutch dunk!! Akihito slipped in between him and the basket!!! And Akihito is acting like it was nothing special!!!"

"Both benches are stunned! BOTH! I don't think that Sakuragawa was expecting this level of output from Akihito!!"

"Bounce check from the sideline for Setsuden-sama. You can almost taste the aura pouring off of him. He. Is. Pissed."

"And, yet again, Akihito is already up in Setsuden-sama's grille on defence! He's quick, I'll grant him that, his speed has been beyond fantastic so far."

"Less than 50 seconds on the countdown and 18 on the shot clock to go."

"WHAT!? THE BALL'S KNOCKED LOOSE! THEY'RE CHASING IT AS IT BOUNCES UPCOURT TOWARDS TSUYOSA'S BASKET!!"

"AKIHITO SCOOPS IT UP AND HEADS TO THE BASKET! A CUT-IN FROM THE LEFT, A JUMP, SETSUDEN-SAMA'S SUDDENLY BETWEEN AKIHITO AND THE BASKET!!"

"AKIHITO IN MID-JUMP, MID-AIR, DOUBLE CLUTCHES, SPINS OUT A 360 AROUND SETSUDEN-SAMA AND SLAMS IT HOOOOOMMME!!!"

"THIS JAM IS OVER! AKIHITO WIIIIINNNS!!!"

"Akihito offers a handshake but Setsuden-sama slaps it away and walks off. Ooooooohhh. But he suddenly stiffens mid-stride. Was it something that Akihito said?"

"Ken."

"Yes, Mark?"

"Sakuragawa has gotten their hands on a MONSTER."

"Eh? Sory, say that again, Mark?"

"Akihito Konamo'i. Born October 1997 in Hawai'i, USA. Moved to New York 2009. 6 feet, 9 inches tall, wingspan 6'10.5". Ticonderoga High School, Defiants, junior high to sophomore year in high school. Center Forward. Drafted to the Dark River Ferrymen of the Olympean Basketball Association in the beginning of his sophomore year. Played 6 first string games. Averages 20 points a game with a high number of assists, blocks and rebounds, usually double-doubles. Then took a leave of absence after February's end. Transferred here in July as a freshman. There are rumours that he's a Scion of Nike and his leave of absence was actually a quest of some importance."

"He's 17!? And a Dodekatheonite!? AND PLAYED FOR THE HADES' SPONSORED TEAM!? NO WAY!"

"I KNOW! IT'S CRAZY! Sakuragawa has a MONSTER of a player and I don't think that they even realized! But, let's get on with the Halftime Report, Ken, before we run out of halftime!"

"Right you are, Mark!"

"It's going to be a hell of a season!"

"Looks like it's going to be, Mark!"

---

The idea of writing a short story about a combination of basketball, high school and Percy Jackson-esque demigods through the eyes of a third party came to me when I was just thinking about creating a unique character for Scion.

Enter Akihito Konamo'i, Scion of Nike, part-Hawaiian, part-Japanese, the young man nicknamed 'Breeze'. 

And then my brain started churning out ideas for the setting he would be in. And I thought wouldn't it be cool to set him up in a high school for young demigods. A step higher: what if there were several schools like that in a region. So Sakuragawa High School was constructed on an island off the Japanese shore and hidden by the Mist.

And the rest was a snowball travelling downhill from there.

I just thought that it would be cool to do a story using just sports commentary.

Hope you all enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed typing it out on my mobile!

Cheers!

_{... it's time to jam now.}

>> From a statement of time...

"2219"

Welcome to the Year 2219.

The world has changed a lot since you were put on ice and spaced up.

It's been broken down into two super-powers: the Euromerican Alliance in the Western Hemisphere and the Pacifica Conglomerate in the Eastern Hemisphere.

Euromerica is not so much an alliance as it is one large federalized union of nation-states dominated by the nation-descendant of the 21st century USA.

The Conglomerate is a representative oligarchy, since the countries of Asia and Australasia Privatized, transforming into corp-nations.

The Yangtze Syndicate and Jai-Hind Megacorp have the largest blocs of voting power on the Oligarchical Council, but Singapura Tech (SingTech for short) and Nippon Foundries own the technologies that every nation uses.

The region originally known as the Middle-East is now known as the Desert Emirates, aligned with neither side and stubbornly holding on to neutrality. The militaristic Emirate of Israestine, the end result of the Israeli-Palestinian Conflict, maintains its grip on its territory, including the area surrounding the Suez Canal, and resists the predations of the other Emirates.

Russia's been broken down by severe economic pressure & downturn, orchestrated by the pre-privatisation Pan-Asian Bloc, industrial sabotage, internal strife caused by dissenters, agent provacateurs & rebels, the Chechen Problem coming home to roost, "Siberiarization" - the freak Ice Age that hit poor Mother Russia - and the Bratva Russkya hostile takeover of the government nearly a century ago.

Whatever's left of Russia is actually the physical landmass of Siberia, which currently stretches up to Irkutsk and is now the Corpnation of the Russo-Cyberian Enclave.

The Russian Steppes are home to nomads and vast underground warrens, neither side able to claim them wholesale due to the presence of the Kossacks and their underground dwelling Kohl Black allies. Therefore, both sides had to be satisfied to leave it as a buffer zone.

Africa is mostly desert and grassland, its countries having dissolved into supposed anarchy or gone 'wild', its people returning to feudal or nomadic ways.

Except for the remains of South Africa, Namibia, Lesotho, Swaziland, Mozambique & Madagascar and some of surrounding islands which now make up the arcological ecopolises of the Afrikaan Republic.

There are a lot of possibilities for making cred and earning rep, regardless which side of the line you choose, mate.

Unless you choose to be one of the Greys, which is another story by itself.

So, let's get you cleaned up and looking good for the world, ey...


Sent from Catch Notes for Android
https://catch.com


... came a whole idea for a world.

>>> Credit Control...

Everyone just loves money. But more importantly, everyone NEEDS money. But it doesn't just become a single person's daily affection and obsession; it becomes a family's, a company's, a corporate's, a country's, even the world's 9th wonder. However in my own personal humble opinion, words of a wonderful money needing monger, a corporate is dangerous with money. And it so happens that this same corporate is the same one everyone turns to everyday when it comes to cashing in that cheque you got from sucking off a guy's rancid PEN-cil colored shoes, when it comes to applying for that all new lovely shiny Visa or Mastercard that you plan on buying expensive DIL-bert comics that are not available in your country, and of course, to go to for wonderful free services that make going to find a PRO sound like an awesomely horrible way to spend cash yet get "expert" help on getting that fish stuck in your sink that is going into the same sandwich to the PROs for their wonderfully abstract job of mangling your kitchen sink.

For those who guessed right, no points unfortunately, it's the bank. And with it come the greediest people in the whole world short of Oprah Winfrey and Donald Trump(And a certain party last I checked). But these people do not get all the the shit of the day thrown at them, nor do Oprah and Donald lest they decided to do a stand-up comedy show with Colin and Ryan and have a hoedown about being rich and having something to do with all that money. That's right, I'm talking about the service personnel. Today however, i will be focusing on a group of wonderful people who keep the banks going, who however have their names blemished so badly under the mud, even mud is cleaner than their name. And these people are the Credit Control team.

Imagine yourself to be that person who was cashing in that cheque. What if that cheque was going to the bank for all the amounts of interest you had owed the bank? Oh you'd be so mad that you'd want to strangle a turkey and make it cough out foie gras? and if that guy's rancid PEN-cil colored shoes happen to also be PEN-cil flavored too? Now that would suck. You gripe and grimace at the ones on the phone telling you that payment needs to be made while they have to listen to your sob story about how much you had to suck on someone's PEN-cil colored AND flavored shoes in order to get the monies to make that payment.

Then imagine yourself to be that person applying for the wonderful visa card and purchasing that DIL-bert comic when you didn't realize it was more expensive with air, sea and land shipping, and when you pay for the amount of the comic, you suddenly EXPLODE with RAGE and ANGER when you find out the cost was much more than what you bargained for, and you RANT and WAIL at the ones on the phone informing you kindly that you have to make payment for what you bought while they listen to your crude control of the most colorful and probably most explicit english language that ever was spoken or shouted to their right virgin ear(or left).

Finally imagine yourself to be that person going for the wonderful free services thinking what a wonderful day it is to finally make a trip down to the red li-OH MY GOD THE SERVICES CAME WITH ANNUAL FEES??? AT 15% INTEREST TOO??? You get a call from that lovely lady you used to know as a friend and tear their ears off with the amount of noncenstry that "they" had done onto you when all they were doing were simply to give you a friendl-erm...Not so friendly reminder after you just took their ear off with nary a breath and a chorus of howls that can only be made by a single mammal alone. By now if you had the patience to follow the writing i have written, you'd have noticed that someone seems to have been missing from the equation of the hate and blame game.

Agreed, oh wonderful follower of the ATM card, that once someone breaches your sense of moral dignity and pride beyond all comprehension, that you stop using that ATM card no more. But do recall where your pented up anger, frustration, hatred, and unknown dictionary of cuss words went to at the moment of your much needed release. Nope, it was not up the bank's ass, it was up THAT credit control officer's ass that it went into. That's what she said, but please remember this the next time you decide to go ruin the credit control officer's day. Also note worthy is how one as a consumer often lacks the roll of 20 for spot when it comes to disclaimers that make the roll difficulty a grand difficulty scale of 50 to read, and a +10 to all of the above: everyday life x hrs spent awake.

They are just as much human as you are, and you are just about as human as YOU make THEM out to be, in their minds. It's a mutual hatred, generated by the obsessive compulsive need for the green, purple, red, yellow and blue notes that everyone has in their wallets. So everytime you look at that piece of paper, think about the people don't see it until once a month, but need to reclaim it everyday as their job not just for the sake of themselves, but for a corporate that also welcomes you, the consumer.

So before you as a consumer decides to thresh things out unreasonably or erratically depending on the spontaneous combustion your brain can take from all the day's wonderful lessons, pause for a moment to realize that on the line, is another person just like you, quite possibly spontaneously brain-combusted from another 28 of you before you. As a side note as well, please don't be a Credit Control officer. Very unhealthy for you, and for everyone else around you for at least 60 yards.

~NOTE:

disclaimer: Anyformofmaliceangerhatredwondersadnessorwhateverformofemotionthatthisarticlemakesisofnointentionwhatsoeveranditispurelyforthesakeofentertainmentmediafunlaughterpeaceandjoysoallyoupeoplewhoowncreditvisamasteroratmcardspleasedonotblameyourbankbecauseimjustasillyguywhohasnothingbettertodoatpresentstagetimewhateversojustreadlaughnodnoticeandwalkonstraightcauseyoudidntseeanythingnopenothingatallitsallanillusionitellyounothingbutanillusion!!

... is not your bitch.

>>> High School...

... never ends for anyone!

>>> How to survive...

Death.

There are worse things than death.

Indeed, it is true, if cliché, what some villains of the silver screen say, that there are worse things than death.

In so saying, there is also something else that can be said about these "things" that are worse than death:

You'll be surprised what you can live through.

It's true.

After all, one of the things that can be worse than death is heartbreak. It can bring you to the brink, leaving you hanging by a nail, maybe a thread of sinew, and you'd wonder what would it be like to just let go. Sometimes, in some cases, it's like a near-death experience. Or even comparable to a first brush with death.

Some would say that heartbreak is a death of sorts. The death of a love, even. Someone once told me that it felt like his heart was literally shriveling up and dying by the yard. I can't say that I felt that way, but, personally, it's always left me feeling empty inside, like something tore my heart out and poured cold, nebulous vacuum from space into my chest cavity.

But at the end of it all, you're still pretty much stuck in place with the thoughts of the women you've loved waltzing through your mind with alarmingly frequency.

And, then, horrifyingly, perhaps you realize that there's only space in your heart for one but you know that it'll never happen but you can't quite let go, so, it's a I'm-sorry-that-room-isn't-for-rent-or-sale-can't-have-it-thanks-have-a-nice-life-bye kinda thing if any other women end up entering your life. Or it'll end up coloring your future relationships in stark shades, in a horrid contrast to your past. Which might be even more horrifying.

Plus, Fate may keep throwing you curveballs by setting up happenstance run-ins with at least one of them in places that you least expect, with random phone-calls and text messages out of the blue from the far side of the moon. But you'll be nice, even when everything inside of you screams bloody murder while being thrown through and shredded by the industrial meat grinder that are your emotions and metaphorical heart.

And you don't know whether you want something more or less from that person. You can't decide whether you want that person to disappear from your life for-freaking-ever or to always have them there. And there's no real middle ground.

You just can't make up your mind at all which will send your mind into a vortex of frustration, angst, pain and sorrow, with perhaps a little sorrow thrown in for good measure, which it may or may not exit in one functioning piece.

But you'll survive, you'll get over it soon enough.

Even if you feel somewhat lobotomized by the whole chained series of events.

After two failed relationships in under a year and the 'death' of something before it even began, it makes me wonder how on earth do you ever get over such an event, let alone a chain of them? And how long does it take before you feel "back to normal"? What kind of closure is required for the chapter to be ended, to reach le fin?

I have no clue.

None what-so-ever.

And, yes, I'm still on this trip, this godforsaken path to somewhere that's hopefully not here. No, I'm not completely A-OK, even after such a long period of time. I can't keep up the facade of being alright and functioning with everyone, sorry.

My closest friends know how I really feel and have been feeling over the past year. It has been a constant source of frustration for me and of some irritation to my familia, my extended family of friends.

Does that make me a hypocrite? For keeping up a mask and appearances around most people, but dropping it with the closest people to myself?

Probably.

Not that I care about that. Much.

It's hard to be okay, I guess. The pain is still there, hiding in shadowy corners, being vague and then incredibly sharp. And, yet, there is that contradictory feeling of happiness and pride when speaking about either of my somewhat recent two exes, the stories of, what were to me, very important and interesting memories, that war with the after-recital feelings of nostalgic sadness and incompleteness.

And, perhaps, it's even harder to "get over it" since it can't quite reconcile with my hardwired [romantic] belief that, regardless of what happens, a part of one's self will always love them.

Perhaps it's a lesson or even a test. Or even one gigantic joke woven by the Fates.

Who the hell knows?

And we've already established that I certainly don't.

So, I try to distract myself.

Bury myself in any kind of work. Lose a job. Hang out with my friends as much as possible. Throw myself into projects that may or may not see fruition. Look for a new vocation. Smoke. Go to new places, try new things. Read webcomics and online stories of any kind. Read more books. Look at girls, random and known. Maybe unknowingly flirt if they stop to give me the time of day. Skate. Buy stuff online. Stumble across porn and watch for less than five minutes before realizing that my mind has better ideas about sex. Think. Get tattooed. Compose lyrics and poetry. Make crazy plans for the future that may never happen. Go for counselling to beat and break the steel of negativity that binds and constricts me. Smoke helluva lot more. Eat over irregular periods. Go out late with no real agenda. Play silly Facebook games. Skate more. Get physically hurt while skating. Smoke a little more to ease the pain on a psychological level. Sleep late and get kicked out of bed for no real reason. Lie to the rest of the world that I'm okay when I'm not. Hit a club. Dance. Get wasted. Smoke even more. Draw. Sketch. Write. Blog. Sleep. Dream.

Rinse, wash, repeat.

Until either I break or I get through and over.

Even while claiming to the world that I'm over it all.

So, yes, there is something worse than death.

Bitches, please. Y'all survive. Maybe live even.

I'm right here and I know.

Right now, I barely EXIST.

But, somehow...

... I'll survive.

We all will.

Somehow.

... a car wreck of a heart, after the fact.

>>> Matters of the heart...

It's 4 in the morning and I'm still not asleep. Just read through about five years worth of Red String comic pages as it was a really riveting read. If you're into slice-of-life romantic-type mangas, you should definitely check it out. And it's FREE.

And reading it made me realize that sometimes, no matter how much you may love a person or if a part of you still loves someone, your heart has the capacity for so much more. So much so, it may seem that the heart is such a fickle thing.

Having to move on bites. It does, I won't lie to you. The memories will always be there, the love will always remain, the affection and everything else lingers on in your bloodstream, and it will always follow you. Sometimes it's a matter of acceptance, often times of time & healing. But you may sometimes feel guilt and treasonous when your heart turns to another, like you're betraying the love that you have for that one from past.

I'm not sure if it's momentary, I'm not sure if it's rare, but I do know that it does happen.

You'll eventually come to terms with the feelings rolling around inside and may even find someone who understands you... or someone who will give you what you need. The love, affection, support and dependability that you deserve, like you give unconditionally in the first place.

The only thing one can do in the meantime is take things slow and try to keep your head up above the waves.

And perhaps pray for a miracle of some kind.

*laughs softly*

Love is a miracle all by itself.

I wish you all much happiness.

And I pray for all of us.

Peace.

... are ever so complicated.

>>> Let the sleeping dogs lie...

Things change.

They always do.

So take your time to adapt, don't rush. There's nothing to be gained by rushing into change. Except perhaps a migraine and a ton of stress.

Then you'd need a bottle of the good stuff.

And if people want to ignore you, being cold like the frozen tundra, you don't really need 'em, now do you? But then again, maybe they need some space, so you should leave them to it and see what happens. *shrugs* Que sera sera?

Cross your fingers and hope for the best, I suppose. 'Specially since a'most more than 50% of life is beyond any person's control and completely up to the Fates [or God(s), if it makes you feel better].

There's only so much you can fight before you feel that it's all pointless and beyond tiring. Then, all you'd want is to curl up and sleep like the dead, ignoring the whole world even if a nuclear winter enveloped it in a storm of irradiated ash and dust.

Trudge on down the path, hack down the thorns, embrace the pain when the waylaying gets you, take it, let it fuel your dragging feet, kick up the dust behind you, burn the bridges that you cross and basically be a bad-ass till you get home.

And don't ever blog after taking heavy meds and/or some alcohol.

We love you all!

*HIC!*

Now, fug off.

Please.

*HOC!*

<3

... and try not to be a jumpy fox.

>>> Simplicity borne...

Yet again, my brain works through weird patterns and creates something out of just the line "Can't shake the misery, I need a stiff drink tonight", which came off of Twitter, of all places.

*laughs*

Inspiration comes from all kinds of places, doesn't it?

This took me almost a week to complete its creation, and it's such a monster. One that I'm rather proud of. (I feel like such a proud mad scientist! *laughs*) Now to scribe sheets of notes and weave magic to create its dissonant melody.

A Bombshell in Parliament
:: (A Stiff Drink) Tonight ::

"Oh, baby,
I can’t shake the misery,
I need a stiff drink tonight
(Tonight, tonight, tonight).

It’s killing
It's killing me
It’s killing me
It’s killing me inside that
you don’t care at all (anymore).
It’s tearing me up inside that
I can’t say I miss you.

So, let's get drunk tonight
And will you take me home?
(Take me, take me home tonight.)
So, let's get high tonight
And will you follow me home?
(Follow me, follow me home tonight.)

Oh, baby,
I can’t shake the misery,
I need a stiff drink tonight
So, let's get high and drunk
(Tonight, tonight, tonight).

Empty beds make for empty heads,
No dreams as the darkness screams.
Tell me, baby, is this what you wanted?
To leave us alone and so haunted?
(Tell me!)

It’s killing
It's killing me
It’s killing me
It’s killing me inside that
you don’t care at all (anymore).
It’s tearing me up inside that
I can’t say I love you.

So, let's get drunk and
will you take me home?
(Take me, take me home.)
So, let's get high and
will you follow me home?
(Follow me, follow me home.)

Oh, baby,
I can’t shake the misery,
I need a stiff drink tonight
So, let's get high and drunk
(Tonight, tonight, tonight).

So, let's get drunk and
will you take me home?
(Take me, take me home.)
So, let's get high and
will you follow me home?
(Follow me, follow me home.)

Oh, baby,
I can’t shake the misery,
I need a stiff drink tonight
So, let's get high and drunk
(Tonight, tonight, tonight)."

After all, we all could use a stiff drink.

Have a good one, mates!

... of heartaches and heavy drinking.

>>> Inspired by time...

I stole a glance at my clock this morning with sleep-drugged eyes and saw the time reading of 1001. Which reminded me strangely of binary coding which then set-off the fuse for an explosive idea of lyrics lit up in luminous green.

This is dedicated to all codemonkeys, gamers and geeks who've ever fallen asleep at their computers, their computer screens still glowing and to the weather that can never seem to make up its mind.

One day, these lyrics will see the brilliance of a composed score upon sheets of velvet-like vellum.

*laughs*

A Bombshell in Parliament
:: Binary Mornings ::

"The alarm's shrill and screams
Wake up! Wake up! WAKE UP!
Wake up! Wake up! WAKE UP!
Play! Play! PLAY!

Ten-oh-one,
Like coded binary,
It's the morning already,
Grey skies like the English fly,
sunlight blinded and stumbling aye,
open crusted, bleary eyes
GOOD MORNING!

The alarm's shrill and screams
Wake up! Wake up! WAKE UP!
Wake up! Wake up! WAKE UP!
Wake up! Wake up! WAKE UP!
Fading dreams and waking screams
Wake up! Wake up! WAKE UP!
Wake up! Wake up! WAKE UP!
Play! Play! PLAY!

The alarm's shrill and screams
Wake up! Wake up! WAKE UP!
Wake up! Wake up! WAKE UP!
Wake up! Wake up! WAKE UP!
Fading screams and waking dreams
Wake up! Wake up! WAKE UP!
Wake up! Wake up! WAKE UP!
Play! Play! PLAY!

We're up, the screen's on again."

I love the mornings, even though I'm not much of a morning person.

Hello, sunrise!

... and the post-rock screams of fading dreamscapes.

>>> The unexpected...

... can be expected but does that make it accepted?

Just some ideas that have been spawned in the last few days for A Bombshell In Parliament, a band that only exists in the head of two rather eccentrically brilliant, light-bulb-fused minds: KAZE.first and Pervalidus. The ideas behind the band is instrumental tracks with choruses of sorts. Blame Scott Pilgrim, kinda got the idea from Crash and the Boys. *laughs*

"Car wrecks, train crashes and airplanes like shooting stars in the sky,
Make a wish for heartache, watch the world break and never cry to die."
- End of the World

"Put the gun to my head,
squeeze the trigger now i'm dead,
the world's splatter painted red,
with bullets straight through my head,
my head, my head, my head."
- Headless And Yours

"Not fated, not fated,
Your destiny is broke,
You're plain outta luck,
Close your eyes to hide the pain,
Curl up under the sheets,
And shed your tears."
- Tears for Fate

"Feeling so pathetic, feeling troubled
Can't stand here, so I'll just run on

Run away, away, away
Onwards, for ever and a day

Would hate you, but I can't
Could love you, but I won't
Could hate you, but I won't
Would love you, but I can't

I just can't, I just won't
Hate you, love you

The pressure crushes, the darkness rushes on
I close my eyes, and drop, falling away

Fall away, away, away
Downwards, for ever and a day."
- Away

^{Thanks, Brighteyes, for reintroducing me to music and reigniting my love for creating. I owe you something fierce.}

Well, I hope all of you like this for whatever it's worth.

Just don't rip us off!

>>> Past, present...

... and future tense.

I miss my past.

My present is passing by with rarely a gift.

It's all fifty-fifty with the future... It's a tense thing, kinda touch-and-go, but it'll take care of itself, won't it.

Past, present or future... it just takes faith and gumption. And a little chance.

I'll leave you with what's currently playing from my iTunes, only with VISUALS. *grins*

Merry Christmas in advance!

>>> Busy, busy...

... and wishing I could sleep.

I keep looking at my mobile, expecting messages or a call. I'm not sure from who, really, but I keep expecting something.

*shrug*

Weird.

>>> Misery...

... and who really cares?

I'm miserable.

No prizes for guessing why.

And I don't really care who knows it now. I'm beyond caring. I've been punished and tortured enough. I'm tired of treading water and trying to keep my head above the waves of depression, sadness and misery that keep washing over me, threatening to sink me and push me under.

I'm miserable. Period.

And there's no one to really turn to. Who the hell wants to listen anyway? Who the hell is going to bother to read this and even leave a note or think about it?

Nobody, by my reckoning.

Even if this sounds vindictive and unfair, I hope that she's happy now.

>>> Smokes and liquor...

... would be good right about now?

I'm wishing that I had a coupla bottles of Corona, a glass of Tequila Sunrise or a Heartbreak Bacardi and a pack of cigs.

*sigh*

I don't know what else to say.

What can I say?

Nothing.

I guess.

>>> Ah, realizations...

... sometimes come too damn late.

ANYWAYS, I've resolved to not be a WUSS nor a pushover in any way.

Some people just learn late, I reckon, late bloomers, ey?

Better late than never.

Laters.

>>> Another day passes...

... and it's an endless cycle, isn't it?

Not a day goes by without me thinking of and missing Her, truly and with no fabrication. 'Tis strange to not really know how she is getting on and truly sad that I believe that I possess a much higher opinion of her than she most probably and undoubtedly has of me. Even as I type, I feel my face caught up in a sad, crooked smile with wistful eyes.

I still believe, perhaps foolishly, that there is still hope for a happy ending of sorts. Though, perhaps, as I have said and thought before, I may be fooling myself almost completely.

To think that things would have come to this.

*deeply sad sigh*

By the by, the last few days have been busy and somewhat good, though marred by slight melancholy on my part. I am still grateful for my friends and family standing by my side through the trials of truly troubling times: Pervalidus, Takezo, Katstep, Nani, Ash, Cha-Cha, Shan, Ashvin and the rest. You advice, words and care keep me upright and mobile, and for that I am very thankful.

Well, I'm off to bed for some rather well-deserved slumber after staying up with my dear mother to watch "North & South" on the television.

Long live the BBC and their 'period' series. *smiles*

Cheers!

>>> Out I go...

... to meet one of my best friends.

Too bad that I'll be meeting her almost right next door to where She works. It's such a temptation to just drop by or walk by to see her. But I'm resisting the urge. I don't want to cause an incident or scene... or be called a stalker.

Well, off to skate.

Laters.

>>> Eleven in the morning...

... and there's no one to talk to.

It's been a while since I composed anything, poem, haiku or otherwise...

Blogged out feelings and shot up heart-strings,
sick to the core and turning inwards some more,
tell me what do you do when your life lets you go?

Walking old lanes of memory with a body shimmery,
taking a trip down in time for no reason or rhyme,
to lose thy mind to much pain and sadness yet again?

One woman was all one needed and yet standing unheeded,
Left in dust, without trust and doomed to ever rust,
the heart's been wrung and the end the bell has rung.

Nevermore to live and love,
on sweet wings of a dove.
'Tis enough, it is done.

If not Her, then no other.

... and that's some declaration of intent.

Or is it?

>>> Sick to the pit of my stomach...

... and I have no idea why.

I haven't eaten anything wrong, nor anything that I'm allergic to. And yet I have this sick, cold lump in the very pit of my stomach. It makes me queasy and very uncomfortable. And it brings on a phase of humming at random. As in, I end up humming really strange, random tunes.

And it doesn't help that I question my sanity when that happens. Why? Because when the humming starts, it feels as though my sanity is hanging out in the air, scrabbling at the cliff's edge with its fingernails and trying its very damned best, desperately, to avoid falling down into a deep, dark void where the ocean should be.

Or at least, that's the closest I can get to explaining, with some graphics, what it feels like.

And it doesn't make sense.

Since I have no idea why I feel like that, at all, in the first damn place.

And since I have no idea how to get rid of it, I'm stuck with it.

Feck.

>>> Slumber...

... would've been a nice escape.

If it wasn't for the nightmares and equally weird dreams of my usual normal variety.

*Sigh*

Doesn't matter whether I'm sleeping more nowadays, it's just not restful. The Dreaming has me waking almost as equally exhausted as when I went to sleep.

And I'm still mildly insomniac, which means I have to be completely exhausted so I can just drop asleep. Which doesn't seem to help with the dreams. Not at all. I mean, I virtually black out from exhaustion, but my mind picks up [sometime] in the middle of it, catching a ride on the Dreaming Express.

And it's not pleasant at all, most times.

And I really don't care if She's reading this, I don't care if it gives her more "power", but I need to say this and bloody well will: I bloody well MISS Her. She was my best friend, my cheerleader, my lover, my partner and, quite a lot of the time, my protector.

I miss her being around and I miss the times we spent together. And in the case of my dreams, she waking up to calm me down. Or I waking up in a state, and then just looking at her sleeping peacefully slowed down my racing heart. Or calling in the morning and talking about it, the two of us discussing how weird the dream was and that it was just a dream.

*Sigh*

Sleeping would be a great escape IF I could sleep, without the dreams, without the negative feelings and it would help in cutting down the forays into the kitchen to eat.

On another note, I need more cigarettes... I keep running through my packs at an alarming rate. Which is not good at all.

So sleep would cut down the need for that, too.

I just wish sleep was easy to come by.

A good morning to you all.