>>> Resistance is Futile: Alpha-Kei v1.0.0

Alpha-Kei version 1.0.0 :: BASQUASH! trailer

>>> [Nothing] much ado about Monday...

... and yet it's important enough to be typed up on Tuesday?

W E I R D .

*laughs*

Monday was good, even if it was my very first official day being unemployed. Yeap, that's right, no longer am I a minion of Starbucks.

I'M A FREE MAN!!! WHOOHOO!!!

Albeit, a soon to be poor free man, but hey, s'all good. *grins impishly* For I have a plan... a plan for WORLD DOMINATION!!! *cue evil laughter track*

But seriously speaking, I'll figure something out, sooner or later. I always do.

You would expect a free man to wake up much later in teh day, having the right to sleep in with impunity. However, this free man right here wakes up at sunrise. Yes, with the sun's rising brilliance and it hitting me square in my face.

I'm still recovering from some damn gastro-intestinal viral infection that I caught last week and the exhaustion caused by a nine-day work stretch, so after keeping my girl, nay, woman company at the doctor's [and I was mad late meeting her 'coz I forgot my wallet, keys and handphone pouch, which had my travel & ATM cards in it, which meant a trip back to my house, a fall down the stairs which banged up my knees and being unable to acquire teh services of a cabby of any kind...], I ended up hanging, and crashing, out at her crib for a bit.

There was a thunder storm of epic proportions.

Followed by a a really orangey, golden-like sunset whose glow seeped into her home. It was gorgeous.

Which had me compose yet another haiku on the way home from the rail station.

MONDAY

Wake to sunrise
Thunder rolls the day
Golden the sunset.

I am mad genius, mwahahaha!

And like the mad genius that I am, I am downloading Igor off the 'Net even though I could probably purchase the darn thing for twenty-nine-ninety-nine. *laughs*

Anyways, I'm off to see the Wizard of Tanglin.

Cheerio!

>>> Short, three liners...

... and not for use on chicks.

HAHA!

Yeah, yeah, absolute lameness.

But what do you expect from me at almost two in the bloody morning?

ANYWAYS...

... I'm picking up the art of Haikus, so I'm learning and practicing. With the great help of the wide, wonderful internet.

And here's my first piece:

DARK NIGHT

Dark sky like ice
Monsoon rains fall thick
Boundless cold

Hope you all like it! Lemme know what you think, alright?

Thanks and good reading!

Laterz, gaterz!

>>> Fear not the demons without...

... but the ones within.

MY DEMONS

Upon cold, hard floor
kneeling
Into bright, hot flame
gazing
Beyond the candlelight
demons
Capering in the shadows
nightmares
Terrorizing my soul
fear
Possessing my mind
insanity
The only saving grace
love
Cradled in Her arms
safe
Looking past the darkness
sunrise

>>> Love and withdrawal...

... are like OH-MY-FAWKING-GAWD.

Yes, I am very much in love with this little woman with a big personality and huge heart named Parnella. And we're still learning stuff about each other, while being very happy together. [Prepare yourselves for drowning in maple syrup!] Being with her makes me the happiest person in the world and just having her being a part of my life makes me the luckiest man, too. She makes me smile, laugh and basically leaves me in joy. Being away from her is like having a cold, skeletal hand just reach into my chest and squeeze really hard, crushing whatever it reaches; but looking at it from another way, it makes me cherish the time I spend with her even more. I have no words to describe properly what she means to me and how much she fills me with love and joy, it's ridiculuous.

Yes, I realize that we both need space and cannot always be together 24/7, but it's perfectly normal to miss her when she's not around, right? So, yeah, I really miss her now. Like really miss her, with like a physical ache. Weird, huh? At least, I know it's not freakish.

Don't we look great together? *laughs*

And about that withdrawal thing...

Yes, I also quit smoking, for several reasons. However, the withdrawal is fucking me over in so many ways that it's not funny. I'm on an emotional rollercoaster coz of it and I'm told that it'll last for about a month at its worst. OH. MY. GOD. I've only been through one week and I already want to curl up into a fetal ball and bawl my eyes out. That, or bash my head continuously against the wall until it cracks open and bleeds all over the place. *shudders* All my negativity stored inside has been torn out from me and squeezed for all its worth by this fucking withdrawal, making me so damn depressed and feeling low about everything, especially about myself.

But I'm seeking help. My love and my friends are standing by me and helping me out while my system detoxes and I go round the bend on this emotional fuckride, and I'll be seeing a counsellor from next Wednesday. My family is putting up with the mood swings and irritability plus the misery that I'm going through, so I guess that's good.

I just wish that I'd stop thinking way too much into things and that I could shut up the little evil voice at the back of my head that keeps hissing all sorts of negative thoughts.

Yes, I feel a bit mental.

But it will end. It has to.

And I will conquer it all, the fear, the misery, the evil voice, EVERYTHING.

*takes a deep breath and exhales slowly*

I can't wait for the withdrawal to end, so I can come out a stronger person and not have to depend on cigarettes anymore.

Nor can I wait for Monday since I'll finally be able to see Her for longer than a few minutes and get to spend some time with her, even IF I'm at work.

I miss Her and I wish that I had her by my side.

*sighs while staring at the clock*

Time crawls by so slowly.

Oh, and Happy New Year, you lot.

I know that I'm absurdly late, but better late than never.

Right?

Right!

Laters, gaters!